I'm letting go of the thoughts that do not make me strong

10.08.2012

Fitzgerald
This has been an incredibly perfect week.  A week filled with friendship, excitement, firsts, family, some really great music, and love.  Although I did go to some really great shows this week - I saw The Lumineers at the Fonda Theatre and Jason Mraz at the Hollywood Bowl, it wasn't the epic performances that have made me so happy.  I feel like I'm settling into myself - I feel very content with myself in all my imperfections.  I've really let go of the past, my regrets, my questions of "what-if", and I've been successful at being present without having to try so hard.  I've really been able to appreciate all my blessings, and the love I have in my life.  Simple joys have become my focus.  Cooking has been giving me great pleasure, music has spoken my heart, and I've been in love with the cool air in the evenings.

For so long, I've been forcing myself to start a new chapter in my life, and now it seems to be happening without trying, without expectations.  This past year has been one of change, lessons, and finding strength in myself.  I was planning out a blog post where I listed all the specific reasons I knew I was over my last relationship - but I don't feel the need.  I don't want to delve into the past; I've finally come to a place of acceptance.  The experience has defined me in so many ways, as it made it abundantly clear what I need and want in my relationships - not just romantic ones, but in my friendships too.  I don't have patience for relationships that aren't fulfilling and genuine - I want to surround myself with people who support me, and that I feel connected to, and want to give back to.  I just feel like I've been waiting to become the person I want to be and now I'm truly comfortable in my own skin.

While I still have goals and hopes for the future, I'm not expecting anything from anyone and I'm just letting life happen with an open heart.

Also - I want to introduce you to the new man in my life, pictured above.  His name is Fitzgerald (Fitz for short).  I hate cats as a general rule.  As a group, they are awful - indifferent, they stir up my allergies like crazy, and dogs are simply better.  However, I met this little guy and I was a total sucker - I invited him into my life, and he's been a total sweetheart.  We spent Sunday being lazy - snuggled up in bed, with him lying on my chest, buried in my robe.  How could I not feel content with life? (Baked fudge from scratch along with homemade whipped cream helped).

P.S. this is my personal theme song at the moment


"I'm letting myself off the hook for things I've done, I let my past go past and now I'm having more fun.  I'm letting go of the thoughts that do not make me strong and I believe this way can be the same for everyone."

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